Friday, October 16, 2009

dear abby

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10 comments:

  1. BcruzOctober 16, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    Dear Abby,

    I’ve been having problems with time management. I am often tired and on verge of a mental break down. I have volunteered my time at work due to the fact no one would step up to take the challenge and I knew I would do good with it. However, now my weekly schedule consist of waking up at 7, volunteering from 8-12 school from 12:20 till 3:30 school, 4-8 working, and 8-10 volunteering. On days I’m not at school I am at work from 8am -10pm, not to mention I have a 12 hour per week math course I have to do online. I barely have time for anything but feel obligated to help. I am often very snappy and my boyfriend tends to get the worst of it. I don’t know how to separate my time and often to lazy to do my math. Please help.


    Sincerely,

    Tired and overwhelmed in Bakersfield

    Dear Tired and Overwhelmed in Bakersfield,
    If volunteering is not necessary then I say you drop it. That right there would give you enough time to do your math course. I know you may feel obligated to help all the time, but there is only so much you can do. You are only human. You can’t do 50 million things and try to please everyone, the most important person to please is yourself and not he rest of the world. Just try to think what is more important to you. If you feel that volunteering will pay off in some way then by all means continue. But like you said your boyfriend doesn’t deserve the snappiness, but you especially don’t deserve to do all these things and stress yourself out in the process. Try to talk to some of your co-workers and ask them to do some volunteering as well. Hope things work out for you.

    Love,
    Abby

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  2. ~KATE~October 16, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    Dear Abby,

    My greatest issue right now is that I miss my family. I moved to Bakersfield on my own and left my family in Los Angeles. I rarely get to see them. I think I miss them more because I spend a lot of time at home doing nothing. I’m even thinking about going back and being with them but I also know that if I leave Bakersfield to go back with them is like leaving my dreams for my family. I’m here for a reason and that is to get my criminal justice major and leaving would mean not getting that. However I will be with the people I love, my family. I’m confused and not sure of what to do.

    Sincerely,


    Dear sincerely,

    The best thing you can do is stay here in Bakersfield. Finish your major and go back with your family. If you think about it you will have the rest of your life to be with them. Your family will always be there for you. Later on in life you might have other issues and won’t be able to finish your career. Having your career right now is something critical. The times right now are tough. Try to visit them more often. Call them when you miss them. Stay in Bakersfield, You will be better off in the long run. You might also be able to get a well paying job to support your family when needed. Having a well paying job, you might be able to take them on trips enjoying a family vacation. Not having a degree you most likely will end up at a minimums wage job. Try your best to stay here in Bakersfield: if you can’t try to transfer colleges where it’s near your family.

    Love Abby.

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  3. Crystal H.October 16, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Abby:
    My brother’s girlfriend lives with my family and I, because they have a two year old daughter together. I really can not stand her and don’t know if I should tell her something or not. She’s always in mine and my sister’s business. She acts worse than my mom always asking where are you going, with who, and at what time. She also tries to ask us about personal things that are really none of her business. Not only that but sometimes she goes through our things in our rooms and borrows them without asking. She’s just plain nosey and annoying. I’ve had too much patience and have put up with her for too long already and I can’t stand it anymore .What should I do?



    I think you should talk to the girl and tell her what makes you mad and what you don’t want her to do. She should respect this because she is living under your family’s roof. Just talk to her and say that you don’t like her going through your stuff or at least ask before you borrow. You really just need to confront her with the problems you have about her. And when she starts asking you personal questions she might want to get to know you better, once you open up to her you might actually start liking her. Once you start sharing your feeling she will then start sharing hers and that is how you really start to know someone and the truth comes out. Who knows you might actually become friends.

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  4. *Erica Hawkins*October 16, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Abby:

    School is hard. I didn’t think I would have so much of a burden on my shoulders with money and grades. My mom has so much hope for me, but the reality is do I have hope for myself? My mom has told all my family about me going off to college and my family has sent me emails, letters with money, and called to check on me. I don’t want to let them down, but I truly feel unfit for college right now. Should I tell my family the truth and listen to their complaints or should I stick it out for one more year. I have faith in myself, but not enough because I’m writing to you. So can you help with my situation?

    Sincerely,
    Doubted Blue




    Dear Doubted Blue:

    You should try and stick it out for one more year and see how you feel then. It is only the ending of the fifth week only a couple more before the break. You may seem overwhelmed now but if you quit now you will regret it in the end. School may not be for every one but you at least have to give it a shot and not quit during the first quarter. School will be over before you know it and then you will be able to make your decision once you have said you tried it. As I said before just stick it out. Even if it is for the rest of the quarter a lot of people have faith in you as you explained about your family and they truly believe you can do it. If you tell them you quit now you will never hear the end of their complaints but you shouldn’t feel forced to stay in school. That just adds more pressure on top of everything else. But it’s your decision in the end and no one else can make it for you. I hope it all turns out well.

    --Abby

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  5. Ensley Jensen =]October 16, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Abby,
    I don’t know what I got myself into. Working five days a week as a server and going though college is not as easy as I expected. Yeah, many other people are going through the same situation, but it seems ten times worse for me. If I’m not at work or school I’m at home doing homework. It seems like I don’t have a life anymore. Maybe that’s just life, and I need to get over it. But I’m only 18, I need to still have a life and not have to worry about work and school already. What is some good advice to balance out my schedule..?
    Love,
    Stressed out college student from Bakersfield

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  6. UnknownOctober 16, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Abby:
    I have been with the same guy for three years now. As time moves on it seems like the further I we grow apart. I mean he tries his hardest to get closer but I push him away. He has gotten insecure about how I feel about him and asks the same questions everyday “how do you feel about us?” things like that. I get annoyed easy especially with these kinds of questions because I do love him I just feel we need our space. I have been to his house and fell asleep while I was asleep he went through my whole phone read my messages and everything, when I asked him about it he lied to me. But I asked him later on when I realized he really did and he told the truth to me it feels like an invasion of privacy. I honestly feel like we were meant to be friends and not date anymore, but I’m just so confused on the whole situation I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to throw away the three years we were together but I don’t want to be in this relationship any longer. I mean seriously what kind of guy gets jealous over your own best friend? That’s really insecure and it’s a huge turn off.

    --Confused in Bakersfield

    Dear Confused,

    I have been in a similar situation, although caring about his feelings stops you from doing what you want; it is also unfair for him to be so devoted to someone who honestly doesn’t want to be with him. Maybe you should sit him down and explain that you care and you want him apart of your life but it is time that you do things for you. Find something you really want to do and pursue it. Throw yourself into it, and if time goes by and you realized maybe I made a mistake by letting him go, you can always try to rekindle the relationship. If is truly meant to be then both of you will meet at the relationship crossroad once again. But don’t let his clinginess keep you from things you want to experience, because if you do in the end you will resent him for keeping you from your goals. No one wants relationships that consist of resentment.

    Sincerely,

    Abby

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  7. aclaytonOctober 16, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Dear Abby:

    I just bought a Camaro and it’s the perfect car. It runs good and it needs a little minor work done to it. My plan was to get the car to use for work. But then something happened: my tags are going to cost me 400 dollars. I knew I was going to owe something on my tags but not this much. I had a few ideas lined up but the all fell out of order so now Im stuck in between a rock and a hard place because the longer it takes me to get the money for the tags the more the dmv is going to add on to that standing balance of 400 dollars.

    Yours Truly

    Angry Car Owner

    Dear Angry Car Owner,

    Did the previous owner of the car know this? If so, it might be his responsibility to pay for the tags on your car. Talk to the previous owner of the car he might have just taken advantage of you. I don’t know if the DMV can help in this situation but I have heard of cases where the DMV holds the balance if you make an arrangement with them. You would agree to pay by a certain day and they would stop adding to your balance.
    Good Luck 

    Sincerely,
    Abby

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  8. Emmanuel DaLessioOctober 16, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    Dear Abby:

    I am having trouble with transportation to the CSUB campus. I have been using my mom’s truck and it has been hard because I live about one and a half hours away and I get 11 miles to the gallon. I am going to the Toyota dealership this weekend with my parents. I would like you to give me a tip on what kind of car should I get that has good gas mileage and looks stylish as well?

    Sincerely,
    With-out-a-car.


    Dear with-out-a-car,

    Wow that must be hard on you driving long hours to and from school. Maybe you should get a part time job or a weekend job to help you out with some extra gas money. I am not really into the whole car thing. Lol. I don’t know which cars are which. But the Toyota corollas are pretty nice and good on gas. I was going to get one but I ended up getting a Ford Focus instead. My friend had a Toyota corolla and it was nice. The inside was big and comfortable and it was good on gas. But if you want a sporty car, you should get a scion. But I don’t know if Toyota makes them. I knew somebody who had one and it was a cute silver one with windows tinted and rims.

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  9. KeyneOctober 30, 2009 at 7:24 AM

    Dear Abby Sanchez,
    I am about to be a father of a child that I don’t know is mine. That’s bad enough itself but come to find out I lost my social security card in the mall and I am in debt and my credit is horrible because someone is pretending to be me. I got shot at yesterday driving down California Avenue by some guys in a blue Camry and my leg is badly wounded. I found out that I have pneumonia and I am at risk of dying My mom wants me to pay the cable and electric bill and I don’t have a job and she said if I don’t she’ll kick me out of the house. My financial aid from school hasn’t come in so I’m failing all of my classes because I couldn’t afford to buy any of the books I needed. My little 12 year old sister attempted suicide and started cutting her wrist and she’s becoming more distant from our family and my other 7 year old sister keeps getting suspended from school. I have a lot to deal with right now…aaaaagggghhhhh!!! Help me

    Still Pushing on,
    Dat Boi

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousNovember 3, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    Dear Abby,
    I'm 18 years old and barely have my drivers permit. I hate the fact that my mom has to drive me everywhere. She always complains if it's too far away or if it's too late. The main reason is to why I don't have my license is because she would not let me sign up for the test until my dad saw how my driving is. She finally tells me I can sign up with out my dad's permission but it doesn't matter cause my appointment is in a month. So I get to spend a lot of my time at home alone cause all my friends are out. I would never want to risk either of our lives since they'll most likely drink.
    Sincerely,
    Miserable Unlicensed Teen

    Dear Miserable Unlicensed Teen,
    Getting your license is not something you need to survive. However, if you want to be more independent and not have to rely on others, this is something you should consider arguing. But drinking and driving is definitely not okay. Having a license and going out to party may seem great. But getting into an accident because you were intoxicated is not. Be responsible trade off turns with your friends at being the designated driver or just call a cab, or plan on spending the night safely with someone you trust.


    **For the record finally got my license and still can't go out. But knowing that I can technically leave when ever I want is an amazing feeling. Also the partying scene is not really me, and as for my friends, definitely considering if they even are.

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